Many queer Jews found family, safety, and refuge in what they thought was an inclusive community. They spent years working to accept who they were and find people who loved them unconditionally. Since October 7, 2023, they’ve been told by those same “inclusive” and “righteous” people that they are no longer worthy of group membership due to their belief in the right for Israel to exist. Queer Jews are now struggling to find their place within the Jewish world, which is pretty accepting compared to other religions, but is still not a guaranteed “safe space,” while reconciling the grief of losing their community.

Imagine going through the pain, anger, loss, and everything else since 10/7 without a single friend or possibly family member by your side. This is the reality for many queer Jews who only had their queer community before 10/7.

Many queer Jews have been sounding the alarm about growing antisemitism within the queer community and the left as a whole for a long time. Pride flags featuring the Star of David were even banned from certain Pride marches in 2017! I, myself, was asked to either remove my rainbow flag with a Star of David inside or to leave a Pride event in 2018. But since 10/7, antisemitism within these groups has been unnerving at best. Swapping the word “Jew” for “Zionist,” a fundamental misunderstanding of Zionism as a concept, and tokenizing the few (roughly 5-10%) Jews who consider themselves “anti-Zionist,” has enabled many to engage in Jew hate in the name of social justice. The pain it has caused to queer Jews is unimaginable.

Many Jews take great pride in the gay-friendliness of Israel. We consider this to be very indicative of our values of love and acceptance. However, this pride has now been assigned the term “Pink Washing.” This refers to the idea that Israel wrongfully perpetuates an LGBT friendly image to distract from wrongdoing. This bizarre weapinzing of Israel’s and Judaism’s revolutionary acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community compared to other relgions and countries (especially in the Middle East…) is blatant antisemitism.Labeling any praise or pride of queer-friendly policies this way is hateful and dangerous. Israel has been a safe haven for queer people in the Middle East (even accepting a gay Palestinian asylum seeker in the last month!) for a long time. To not only refuse to acknowledge that, but condemn it because you simply don't like that country, is xenophobic and antisemitic. Saying the only Jewish nation is queer-friendly purely for manipulative optics is antisemitic. Tel Aviv boasts one of the biggest and most attended Pride events globally, there is a thriving gay scene in Israel, gay marriage is widely accepted amongst many Jews and performed by many rabbis.... Israel is everything the queer community claims to advocate for. This complete dedication to condemnation and demonization is unique to Israel and queer Jews are left with one rational conclusion: they hate Jews.

While social isolation is a health crisis for the entire global population, the risk of societal rejection leaves LGBTQ+ people particularly vulnerable. Jewish LGBTQ+ people are now doubly at risk because of their two marginalized identities. Now, factor in that these Jewish people can’t even find refuge within the queer community…. The impact of isolation on LGBTQ+ people include increased anxiety, high levels of depression, substance use, health issues and premature death, and even an increased suicide rate (1 in 8 ages 18-24 have attempted). Watching this community in particular engage in hateful tactics to isolate and reject their own Jewish members while calling it “activism” has been scary, upsetting, and heartbreaking. The damage done to queer Jews cannot be overstated. You are not alone. You did not deserve this abandonment. If you’re able to, seek out community, go to your local Chabad or Jewish centers, etc. If you don’t have these resources available to you, find connection on social media. Check out my instagram, @jessicagcoook, and engage with that community!

And remember:

Silencing 95% of a population one feels entitled to have an opinion on and dictate the future of is fascism.

Ousting members of a community because of their nationality is xenophobic.

Highlighting the few voices of a population who fit an agenda or narrative is tokenizing.

All Jews get to define Jew Hate, not just the 5% of us people have decided are worthy.

The Unique Loneliness of Queer Jews

Good Faith Arguments

Resiliency Building Post 10/7