Anniversary Trauma and October 7th

Have you been dreading the upcoming anniversary of the horrific events of October 7th, 2023 in Israel? If so, you’re not alone. We’re in uncharted emotional territory as Jews regarding October 7th and the antisemitic aftermath. This article is a beginning of discussion for Jews of our trauma, grief process, and ongoing processing of the most deadly day for our people since the Holocaust and how we can define and manage the continuous collective suffering we’re feeling.

The dread you’re feeling about reaching the year anniversary of October 7th is known as “anniversary trauma” and is a known symptom of post-traumatic stress. It is the collection of upsetting feelings, memories or intrusive thoughts that arise around the annual date of a tragic event. These feelings might include difficulties sleeping, increased sadness, anger, restlessness, or numbness. Intrusive thoughts and memories related to the trauma may increase and might include visual or auditory flashbacks of the event itself or news media reports of the event. 

Anniversary trauma around the acts of violence in Israel on October 7th, 2023 is unique for Jews because it is compounded by the fact that the horrific events initiated a complex, continuing time of grief and trauma. Hostages remain in Gaza. There is ongoing reveal of upsetting information. Hence, our traumatized brains are called upon to process new grief and horror before sufficient healing from the original traumatic events. It is no wonder that the one year anniversary of the barbarism poses an extremely challenging time for Jews and our allies.

Neuropsychological research indicates that our brain’s protective mechanisms are the stimulus for anniversary trauma response. After personally or vicariously experiencing a life threatening event, our minds and bodies remain in a protective state of relative readiness to cope with the next terrifying event for a length of time that varies among individuals. But often a trauma is a one time event, and is left in the past. Grieving can ensue. But in the case of Jews and the ongoing threats related to October 7th, anti-Israel sentiment, and additional losses of life, there is no time to cope. As unfathomably terrible occurrences mount, our reserve of coping becomes depleted. Extreme overwhelm that may soon be experienced around the anniversary of 10/7 is a very real possibility.

Trauma responses are experienced in our bodies via our “sympathetic nervous system.” The sympathetic nervous system is cued when extreme danger is perceived. The danger can be current or recalled. As a result, unconscious responses of fight, flight, freeze or fawn occur. When these responses are elicited by emotional prompts, such as the anniversary of a terrible event, we are likely to automatically feel a trauma response. But knowing that we have an upcoming anniversary of trauma- we can prepare by knowing trauma responses and how to  augment our management of distress. 

There are four commonly discussed trauma responses. The “fight” response is felt as an aggressive, protective urge. The “flight” response is experienced as a desire to flee (even if we are not in a physically dangerous circumstance, our bodies may not know this information when the trauma is cued.)The “freeze” response is experienced as inability to act, and the “fawn” response is felt as the need to please or tend to others to help exit a dangerous situation. Our sympathetic nervous system response is to mitigate the danger and get back to a “rest and digest” state— which is governed by another important system: the parasympathetic nervous system. When stimulated, the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for the relaxation response. Frequent stimulation of our relaxation response is highly desirable right now for Jews across the globe.

Relative to trauma response and grief, the first anniversary of October 7th is a unique challenge. We remain in a sense of fear for our friends, families, loved ones and ourselves as Jews since the traumatic 10/7 events, but we now need to recognize and manage the emotional prompt of the one year anniversary. Knowing the signs of sympathetic nervous system arousal can help us choose a coping strategy that fits the moment.

In a fight or flight response, where we feel a sense of racing heart, body tension, flushing skin or sweating— our best response is to do something to give our bodies a sense of response to the fear. Physical exertion works well in these moments. On the other hand, with a freeze response, there is numbness and inertia, and it is a challenge to do anything to help oneself. It is best to break activities into small and manageable parts and approach ourselves with compassion in these moments. In the fawn response of wanting to ‘tend and befriend,’ we can do well to recognize the response and provide some care to others, while also trying to do something soothing for ourselves. 

Now that we’ve discussed management of moments of high arousal and triggered sympathetic nervous system, let’s talk about some ways to manage ahead of the anniversary of 10/7 to help ourselves through. Here are some suggestions:

1.    Be mindful of your basic needs: eat nourishing food, drink water, attempt to rest as much as you can. It’s amazing how attention to our basic needs can help us in moments of high stress.

2.    Limit social media involvement: much trauma has been experienced by Jews by seeing reports of violence and terror. These reports are rising around the anniversary and we are not required to ‘bear witness.’ 

3.    Give yourself space: the anniversary of 10/7 will come and then it will go. Allow yourself in a compassionate way to have your feelings— and consider discussing these feelings with trusted friends or a therapist. 

4.    Make a plan to observe the anniversary of 10/7 that feels right for you. This may be attending services, lighting candles, meditation, taking a special commemorative walk or doing some other form of tzedakah. Consider donating blood, volunteer work if its available to your or preparing food for a friend or relative who might enjoy a home cooked meal. 

5.    Talk about it: seek care from a therapist.

The bottom line is that a painful anniversary of a terrible tragedy for Jews in Israel and globally is approaching for us. We can do some things, as mentioned above, to prepare. But we also can use acceptance, and the attitude that the only way out is through to bolster us during this difficult time. 

Vanessa Gorelkin, Licensed Occupational Therapist

Instagram: @itsvanessagorelkin Website:  www.vanessagorelkin.com
Email: vanessagorelkin@gmail.com